“The reason reverse psychology works is because kids do not like to be told what to do”!
I tell my child, “Don’t read that book!”. It is my favorite book. I want it back. He holds the book so tight, and his eyes glued to it even more. “Finished,” he says happily before handing it over to me. I fake a smile and bite my lips to hide my feelings.
Reverse psychology is excellent to control kids with inappropriate conduct. Parenting a child is never easy, especially when dealing with a stubborn one. But, it works wonders because what a child wouldn’t normally do would end up doing the same thing.
Parents must have a thorough understanding of what “reverse psychology” is and how it works to effectively use it as a parenting tool. In this case, less is more. Therefore, parents should use it responsibly and in moderation to get the best out of their children.
Most parents who have often used it on their older kids try it on their younger ones. But is it right to use reverse psychology on a child, and can it be effective? When to use it and make it work with a child?
Let us find below:
How reverse psychology works:
It is pretty interesting to think of reverse psychology’s definition and meaning. According to the Cambridge English Dictionary, “It is simply a way of attempting to persuade someone by telling them to do the opposite of what you want them to do.” In a way, you conceal what you want while asking them to do the opposite. For example, you want your child to drink milk, but you know if you ask them, they will refuse. So instead, you tell them that its not tasty and warn them to abstain from drinking. Unfortunately, this strategy triggers their mind, and your child will feel the craving to gulp that glass of milk.
Reverse psychology works in various behaviors and routines, from persuading kids to clean their beds to tricking them into eating healthy foods. The key to making it work is to be persistent. Offering kids to make choices is an ideal way to go about things. This way, they can feel confident to talk and be independent in making decisions. For example, allot them a time for playing and when that time is past, tell them they can only play the next day. Be polite while giving them instructions. Because losing your cool isn’t going to help either one of you.
Reverse psychology works best on toddlers. This is because toddlers are constantly learning new things. Many parents swear by reverse psychology, claiming that it has helped them mould their toddlers well. As a result, the toddlers have made healthier choices. Also, positive reverse psychology on kids works better than negative. Give them a reward at the end of each instruction. So if at all they complete the task, they can feel good about doing it.
When to use reverse psychology:
Reverse psychology can have an impact on your child. Experts believe it can be an effective child-rearing technique if used correctly. Your child will benefit from it entirely, or it could seriously harm their self-esteem. The key is to not push it over the top and keep it minimal with your words. It is not a sure shot way to deal with stubborn kids, but it can often do wonders. But despite that, there is so much debate over whether it should be used on our children or not.
I think a lot of parents use reverse psychology a lot of times. When a particular technique in the past doesn’t work, parents use this technique to make the kids agree. Though it helps parents in many ways, it has a limited life span. Hence, it should only be used sparingly, or it will become apparent and no longer work. Many intelligent kids will view it as manipulation, which isn’t a good thing. Eventually, it poses the risk of turning your child to become manipulative. When you give them one work and reward them for the other, you end up leading your child to not listen to you.
The key is to make it sound fun. Also, using it at the right time can help you and your child grow. For example, you can tell them that they are right! If you don’t want to play, it’s okay. You will grow up to be a solid and extensive player. The thought of becoming strong is appealing enough for them to get on their toes. Using once in a while is okay, but it should be used when the parent is not stressed out or hurrying in any manner. Otherwise, it can be stressful for the kids to hear what the parents have to say when angry. Having a calm and a composed way of getting things done is one of the best ways to go about.
Kids can be a real challenge to parents, especially in years of growing up. Parents could use reverse psychology as a friendly challenge and influence their kid’s decisions. Choosing the right frame of mind is crucial. Also, keep in mind if your toddler is ready to do so. Before you even start this game, think of the positives and the potential negatives into account. Because if misused, it can backfire.
Finding good ways to get them to listen and understand your point of view might help a lot more. Afterall, good parenting and rewarding a child works far better.